Solving the Problem of Nagging.    

A spouse or a friend who nags you about your eating or activity may mean well.  But nagging can do great harm.  

Nagging is treating you like a child.  This can cause feelings of resentment, frustration, guilt, and rebellion.  You may end up eating even more, being less  active, and/or hiding the truth from yourself and others. 

In his book The Undiet, Dr. Albert Marston, behavioral consultant to the DPP center in Los Angeles, puts it this way, “You must feel free to make your mistakes and be responsible for them.  No matter how many times you have failed before, your spouse or friend can’t take responsibility for you.”

Here are some ways to solve the problem of nagging:

  1.	Give your spouse or friend ideas of other ways to help you. 

See the handout, Ways for Your Family to Help.

  2.	Discuss the problem openly with your spouse or friend.  

Explain how nagging makes you feel and act.  For example, “When you nag me about my diet, I get frustrated.  I wind up eating even more.  Please try to just pay attention to my successes.”

  3.	Ask for a truce of several months.  

During this time, he or she will try to take the pressure off you. 

Keep in mind that, for your spouse or friend, not nagging may be as difficult as eating less is for you.  Show lots of appreciation whenever he or she avoids nagging and helps you in other ways.  Ignore any nagging that slips in. 

  4.	Use this as a chance to ask yourself, “Am I doing all that I can to take responsibility for my own healthy lifestyle change?”